Being Thankful

 It's really hard to write about infant loss and thankfulness in the same blog. It's a hard thought to stomach. My last post was about finding joy in the memory of your baby. If we can find joy, we certainly can find thankfulness! 

I know many people hate the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason." And sometimes, I hate it too. And yet, when I look back on my adult life, I can't help but think it only proves this point. 

I'm at a place in my life where I can be thankful for it all, even the grief and the heartbreak. It wasn't easy or fast to get to this place. And there are days where I don't feel it, even still. But here are the things I am thankful for when it comes to losing our Alex, Henry, Olivia, and Jessie.

I am thankful for the opportunity to love more. To get to know a mother's love even if I never got to mother those babies in my arms.

I am thankful for the people our suffering has brought into my life. Had we not lost Henry, I would not have been introduced to Kambra and this ministry. It truly gave me a purpose. And through Back In His Arms Again I have made so many new friends and had so many new opportunities.

I am thankful for the families I have been able to help. I have been able to use our experiences to help others navigate their own loss. 

I am thankful for the memories of those ultrasounds, those positive pregnancy tests, those baby flutters that offered proof of life. Not everyone gets those. 

I am thankful for the hard lessons my kids have had to go through in their own grief. While I would never have wished that pain upon them, I also know they have learned some valuable lessons that will benefit them later in life. 

I am thankful for the journey. What more could I ask for?