Sunday, June 30, 2013

Dear Mommy

Dear Mommy,

As I watch you from Heaven, I wanted to tell you a few things:

Don't feel bad when you cry. I know you miss me and I know it's one of the few ways you have to express how much you love me since I'm not there with you. And never feel bad for laughing and being happy! I'm always happy to see joy on your face.

When you smile a smile that never quite reaches your eyes, I still see it and I'm smiling back at you hoping to ease your soul.

When you feel that empty ache in your arms, try to see all the hugs and kisses I send you from Heaven. They don't come to you in the same form, but they're there. That bright rainbow in the sky was a big bear hug from me! And don't worry about me, I'm in the arms of the Angels and Saints and on the lap of our Father. It will never feel good enough for you, but I promise it's good enough for me! 

The next time you feel at the brink of tears, when you feel in such pain, remember that the only thing I'll ever feel is love. While I can see your sadness, I can not feel it. There is no such thing where I am.

I don't like it when you feel guilty. You didn't do anything wrong, in fact you gave me wings. I know it wasn't your choice to let me go, but you did and you're still standing. I wish you could see your strength the way I do. You'll never be able to see what a gift you've given me because it's so hard for you to imagine the life I have in Heaven, but one day we'll be together and I'll take you by the hand and show it all to you.

When you have those days where you feel totally and completely alone, you're not. I see you and I'm watching out for you as best I can. I can feel your love for me even still, whether you're happy or sad. When others have moved on, I know you'll still remember. 

That day when you saw the newborn baby at the park, I saw the hurt that you felt deep inside. I know you long to hold me, to smell my little head, to plant kisses on my cheeks. But never forget that even though you can't do those things, I'm still with you and I'm still finding ways to send you my love. So keep looking for those rainbows, those butterflies and those shooting stars because I'll keep sending you love and never worry about whether or not I feel yours because I most certainly do each and every day!


  1. This is beautiful, and just what I needed to read at this time. We lost our third baby as a result of an ectopic pregnancy a few weeks ago, and this really spoke to my heart. Thank you!

  2. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Anne! I hope you're healing as best as you can and I'm so warmed to know you enjoyed my words!